tumblrbook

Dear my tumblr.

From the beginning I look at you back and forth.
And I see the everything.
Everything that had pained me.
And changed me into this man I am now.

Even though I’m a changed man, I thank you for always reminding me of why I am me today.

That I’ve been suicidal. I’ve been hurt. I’ve even been pushed down oceans; forced to stroll in the dark aquatic seas.

But I am but a changed man now.

I swam up from the deepest crevices of oceans.

I’ve patched myself up.

And above all.

I am god thankful to still be alive today.

I’m not who I use to be.
But the fact that I was who I once was.

Will always stay with me.

I am me.
I’ll always be me.
Even if the whole world is against me.

I’ll. Be. Me.

The only thing worse than being humiliated by the one dearest to you in this word..

Is for that person who insulted you to be mad at you for being upset because they made you that way.

What is this world becoming?

Don’t I have the right to be upset?

If you’re just gonna be mad at me for being upset. Which is RIDICULOUS btw.

Then shit. I dont know. That’s your problem.

Those times when you know someone is hiding something but you choose to believe them.

Out of all the things I’ve experienced.
Never have I been so humiliated in my life.

Boy it sucks growing up really poor hm?

Drink myself till I pass out

Losers.

There’s something about us..
Something people should know.

There are those who work hard..
Those whom gave everything..
They’re heart.. they’re soul..
Just for a small chance to win..
For Just one time.. in their loser life..
To prove that they aren’t what they are..
And against all odds.. become a winner…
And prove to themselves that to all those watching..

That they’re existence meant something more than they were to those who didn’t believe in them.

However.. this is but a story..
And it’s certainly not mine..

My story?

I lost.
I lost against the many voices whom I wished raised me up… but only nailed me down..

In the end.. I never rose..
And proved nothing but dire straights.. emptiness consuming my once gluttoned heart..

As for my existence… what did i actually prove???

I proved..
That my worth…
Is nothing.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.

I am no one.
I am no body.

I’m just that guy..
Who was left behind…
And slowly I fade into the darkness…

Disappearing as a loser…
And as time comes… will die a losers death..

That’s my life.
That’s my story
That’s my destiny.

I wanna cry.
But I’m at work.
Im so lame lmao.

How piercing it is to know this… hehe ^^